This question represents the longing of many wives who are growing in their faith but are married to men whose Christian growth seems stagnant. Many of these men do not share the spiritual passion of their wives, and them are unwilling to take the spiritual lead in the family.

If one of these represents your situation, realize that you lot are not lone.

This question actually can exist cleaved into two parts: getting correct with God, and becoming the spiritual leader in the family unit. Allow's wait at them one at a fourth dimension.

Getting correct with God

A good Scripture to start with is 1 Peter iii:1-iv, which tells u.s.a.:

In the same fashion, yous wives, be submissive to your own husbands then that even if any of them are disobedient to the give-and-take, they may be won without a discussion by the behavior of their wives, equally they detect your chaste and respectful beliefs. Your adornment must not exist merely external braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; only allow it exist the hidden person of the centre, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and repose spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

Chances are that if your husband's relationship with God is not right, you won't win him back past exhorting or criticizing him. Simply your character tin can have a tremendous influence. In fact, your example—what 1 Peter iii calls "the subconscious person of the centre" evidenced by a "gentle and quiet spirit"—will do more to encourage and influence him than annihilation else.

1. Make certain you are growing spiritually.

You are responsible to grow in your relationship with Christ regardless of your circumstances. A wife must not focus on her husband's lack of spiritual qualities only on the bigger picture—that God desires to utilise her in his life to challenge him spiritually. The prayer and hope is that your godly life will challenge your husband and motivate him to abound.

2. Focus on being a godly married woman.

In Titus 2:4, older women are instructed to train the younger women to "love their husbands." Initially that's an piece of cake job, because almost of us get married while we're "in love." After the feelings fade, though, we have to remember that love is a commitment.

Ephesians 5:22 tells united states, "Wives, submit to your husbands every bit to the Lord." To submit to your husband's leadership is to support his leadership. It means beingness an encouraging, assertive wife who allows her husband to be the leader in the family. It doesn't mean being a doormat. You lot should share your opinions, your thoughts and feelings, and make decisions together. Obviously, it helps to choose the right fourth dimension, the right place, and the right tone. Ultimately, though, you back up your husband'south decisions.

A few verses later, Ephesians v:33 says, "The wife must respect her married man." At that place are times when that'due south a hard job; you may not feel that your husband is worthy of respect. However, you are still commanded to respect him. Fifty-fifty if there are many things that he has done wrong, yous can discover something to respect. Try to remember what you lot respected virtually him when you were dating. Does he work difficult to financially back up the family? Does he play brawl with your son?

He may not exist doing all that you wish, but you have to focus positively on the things that he is doing. Verbalize to him your appreciation. When you assert him and allow him know that you value his piece of work, information technology will be easier for him to continue to lead lovingly.

iii. Give this situation over to God and ask Him to work in your husband'due south life.

As nosotros inferred in the last point, too often the wife of a spiritually-struggling married man will attempt to take the identify of the Holy Spirit in his life. Your hubby needs to come to a point of repentance and humility, where he cries out to God for forgiveness and asks Him to change his life. Ultimately, simply God can exercise that. Ask God to do whatever it takes to modify your hubby'due south lifestyle. And then leave information technology in His capable hands.

four. Invite your husband to attend a Weekend to Remember union getaway or atomic number 82 a small-group Bible written report.

Many lukewarm men accept attended a conference thinking it would simply be a romantic getaway with their wives. They take come for the romance, just they've come away with something much more—a renewed relationship with God. There is no guarantee that he volition respond to the truth, but it might exist a wake-upwardly call for him. We've met hundreds of men whose lives were spiritually inverse at the briefing. And many husbands are encouraged by the modest-grouping nature of  a Bible written report with other couples.

Providing spiritual leadership

Many of you accept husbands who are walking with God, but are not providing spiritual leadership in the family. This is a common problem in many families today. Many men today have become passive in their families. And many others want to provide spiritual leadership, but just don't know how.

1. Look realistically at your situation and, if necessary, lower your expectations.

When we were married, information technology never occurred to me that Dennis did not know how to provide spiritual leadership and that this had to be learned. A wife needs to understand that information technology may take years for a man to grow spiritually so that he can pb his married woman in this area. Many men did non take a good model of spiritual leadership in their homes every bit they grew up.

two. Recognize there are different  ways to provide spiritual leadership in the home.

One common misconception is that spiritual leadership means you accept devotions each day. A human being can give spiritual leadership in all kinds of other ways. Sometimes nosotros underestimate the value of things similar a hubby loving his wife, resolving conflict biblically, asking a child for forgiveness, teaching and modeling a proper respect for authorisation, and providing a loving and encouraging environs within the home. These are all critical marks of a spiritual leader, especially in a culture similar ours.

Hither'due south the cardinal:If he is pointing his children to Christ, and to the Scripture, then he is giving spiritual leadership. It does non have to just be in a formal Bible study. Be grateful for what you get. Pray that God volition requite your hubby a heart to want to pb the family spiritually. Exist patient, because it may not come as quickly as you would like.

three. Evaluate how your personality differences contribute to your perception of spiritual leadership.

Sometimes there are certain types of personalities that we tend to think of as beingness a biblically canonical leadership style. In that location is only biblically approved character, not biblically approved personality. Learn to capeesh the differences between you and your husband and accept them. It may be that God has made you unlike in your leadership abilities and styles and then that yous really practise need one another.

four. Advisedly evaluate if you are inhibiting your hubby'due south spiritual leadership past taking the lead yourself.

This is a hard issue, because your role equally a female parent means you need to be involved in providing spiritual management and graphic symbol development for your children fifty-fifty if your husband is not. But if you sense that your husband'due south problem is a lack of confidence, and he is instinctively looking to you to set the spiritual temper in the home because of your experience or your spiritual maturity, you may really exist robbing him of the opportunity to go the leader God desires. You may need to pull back a bit and trust God to grow your married man into a godly leader.

5. Do everything you tin can to encourage your married man.

Ask your spouse what you can exercise to encourage him to lead spiritually. That may hateful having the table set for dinnertime devotions with the Bible beside his place mat. On the other hand, it may mean finding some material to assistance him plan and schedule family nights. Are there things that you can do to help take the load off your hubby, so that he is able to do the well-nigh basic functions? Information technology may mean going to bed early so you have time to read the Bible together. It may be simply request him if he wants to pray. Find out what helps him and so do it.

As well, be sure to affirm your married man for what he does practise right. Fifty-fifty if information technology is as little as praying over meals, thank him for the spiritual leadership that he does initiate. See if y'all can find some areas where he is leading and begin to appreciate and give thanks him for those.

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